This is a brilliant NA queer romance and two young men coming into their own and learning to love each other in the process.

This book is very much on the vein of Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake - contemporary queer romance, a bit darker even, with serious focus on character growth.

The story is told from Paris who has undiagnosed and untreated anxiety for most of the book. It doesn't make for a light reading, there are some very dark moments. I found many of Paris' experiences relatable in some aspect that made me pause and put the book aside. At the same time I desperately wanted Paris to get better, to be happy and loved, so I rushed back to the book to see how this will happen because I trusted fully the author that Paris will get there in the end. 

The parental neglect which is furthest from my experience hit me the hardest. Paris texting his parents made me cry and I am never forgiving anyone for treating their child like that and I am super happy Paris didn't either.

Both Paris and Tariq are in their 20s and act like it - with all the dreams and confusion and mistakes of youth. I appreciate the focus on kindness and the realistic presentation of mental illness throughout the story.

I loved Paris while also realising how exhausting he could be. I could see how he wanted to be a decent human being but his fears and anxiety made annoying and self-centered, hurting the people that cared about him. I think he was (mis)guided by his belief that he is unlovable, he is too much and there is nothing that can be done about it. It was honestly painful to read.

But then there was Tariq who was all light and brightness and glitter and carried the promise of fun, the possibility of love.

As the story goes on we see that things are not quite perfect in Tariq's life either. There are/were issues in his family but there is also honesty and communication and working together through the hard stuff. Something that was completely missing from Paris' life.

I liked how Alexis Hall explored the issues of power and privilege - Paris is a white, rich, cis queer man yet when we first meet him he is absolutely vulnerable, devastatingly lonely and unable to maintain healthy relationships (lovers, friends, competitors on the reality baking show).

Tariq, on the other hand, is like a ray of sunshine - easy going and friendly and loving Paris. He is a gay Muslim Indian, middle class, really quite underprivileged and vulnerable in the eyes of society but atthe some time he is moving through life with self-confidence and poise.

They try a relationship but it couldn't really happen until Paris got the medical help he needed. Tariq also had a lot to learn about himself and what being in a relationship meant. It was a process of growth for both of them and loved seeing it. .

As usual, loved the author's sense of humour that lightened an otherwise heavy story. And as usual it all made me emotional and made me cry. And as usual the supporting characters were great, Tariq's family (no shying away from the problems there as well), Paris' roommate and basically only friend, the baking show - colourful backdrop to Paris and Tariq's journey towards their true selves and the couple they get to be in the end.

This review has become more personal than my usual reviews but very often Alexis Hall's books speak to me on a deep personal level and make me emotional which in turns makes my reviews of his books emotional messes of incoherent praise and sharing personal experiences.

As I have often said about his stories - they are not easy, glossed over romances, rather they show some harsh truths but are ultimately hopeful and that is what I like best about them - the promise of happiness, the potential for everyone to love and be loved.

CW: anxiety (undiagnosed and untreated for most of the book), panic attack, homophobia, islamophobia, going viral on SM, cyberbullying 

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Title: A Lady for a Duke 

Author: Alexis Hall

Genre/Themes: historical romance / queer / trans heroine

Release Date: 24 May 2022

Author links: Website / Facebook / Twitter / Goodreads

My Rating: 5 Stars

Another gorgeous, gorgeous book by my favourite author!

This is a historical romance with a trans heroine that is pretty angsty and has dark moments but overall is hopeful and full of promise for happiness.

Viola has my heart from the start. Gracewood needed some time to grow and become the duke he was meant to be and I ended loving him as well. Together they are magic. Despite some hurts, despite the difficulties real poses in front of their happiness, they manage to achieve it.

The story was super angsty at the beginning things seem impossible - Gracewood has given up on life after losing his best friend at the battlefield. He is a disabled veteran, with serious childhood and war traumas, barely hanging onto life. Viola is a trans woman, a lady's companion to her sister-in-law, trying to find her place in a hostile world.

There is so much hurt and sadness between Viola and Gracewood, neither of them can a see a future for them, either as friends or as lovers. The deep love between best friends since childhood well into their adulthood grows into a romantic connection and sexual attraction and it was beautiful thing to see it developing on page.

This story is not about transphobia and I am so happy the author made that choice. Viola has a loving and supporting family. The focus was on her and how she navigates the world as a trans woman, rather than on how the world sees / reacts to her. These is no forced coming out, no gender-based violence, and I love that. The author shows the same kindness to Gracewood - his injury is a serious issue for him, his PTSD (undiagnosed and untreated at the time) causes him a lot of discomfort but we never really see other characters humiliating or degrading him over it.

The tension is high but all the physical violence is mostly in the past both for Viola and Gracewood. There is a fighting scene that was quite brutal but I felt it was balanced out by a number of tender moments (Viola and Gracewood dancing, her shaving him).

I rarely comment on sex scenes in my reviews but I want to say how much I liked the one in this book. It was so fitting to the characters, something that I don't find very often in romance. They were the same Viola and Gracewood that see in the rest of the story, they didn't magically transform into someone else. There was desire and need but also hesitancy and trepidation. They talked things through, explored each other, it was beautiful and touching.

I felt that despite the angst and trauma this was a very romantic romance - tender and intimate, the love confessions were amazing, his marriage proposal was all tenderness and care and forever kind of love with a touch of humour.

I appreciate the story as a whole with all the side characters. Viola and Gracewood are two soulmates who find a way to the HEA they want in a world that is ostensibly not made for them. But from the start they have people in their lives that love and support them and show them that happiness is a possibility. Badger and Louise are in happy marriage, Miranda finds a way to live the life she wants. I found all this very happy making and hopeful, exactly what I want in my romances.

The story ends with the perfect epilogue. Viola gets what she wants - marriage and children and a big sweeping love story.

Title: Delilah Green Doesn't Care (Bright Falls #1)

Author: Ashley Herring Blake

Publication Date: 22 Feb 2022

Genres: Small town f/f romance

Author's links: Website / Twitter / Instagram

CW: death of parents (in the past), family neglect (in the past), cheating (in the past)

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Title: Something Fabulous 

Author: Alexis Hall

Genre/Themes: Queer historical romp

Release Date: 25 Jan 2022

Author's links: Website / Twitter / Goodreads / Instagram

My rating: 5 Stars

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Title: Love & Other Disasters

Author: Anita Kelly

Date of publication: 18 Jan 2022

Genre: Contemporary romance, f/non-binary, cooking show

Author's links:

My rating: 3.5 stars

This a debut novel for Anita Kelly (they have some novellas previously released) and my first one of hers I read. Overall, it is a lovely romcom where a lot of things worked great for me, but I still had some issues here and there. 

This is a f/nb romance and it is not my place to comment on the non-binary rep, I can comment on what I liked/disliked about them as a romance character. I did like lot about London - their insecurities, their grumpiness. They came off as aloof and somewhat cold but we also see them being passionate about the things they cared about. They loved their family and this cause some major conflict regarding their acceptance for who they are. They were also passionate about cooking, their dream to make music. And Dahlia!

Dalhia was messed, recently divorced, almost broke, pinning all her dreams and hope on winning the cooking show. I appreciate that she wanted to follow her dreams  and she left her marriage when she realised her husband and her have different dreams. At the same time she also read immature to me, whiny, her constant I-don't-know-what-I-want mood was annoying. I wanted her to go for the things that made her happy and not complain so much about the difficulties in her life.

I really liked the romance, there is great chemistry between the MCs, lot of open discussion of body image, desire, sexuality, explicit consent. At the same time I had some issues. On the one hand the way London sexualised Dahlia all the time made me uncomfortable, it was on the verge of creepy, especially in the beginning when the two of them were not a couple yet. London acted like a macho alpha romance hero when it came to Dahlia and I was not a fan of that.  There are explicit sex scenes in this book which I mostly liked but the one involving the use of fruits in the bedroom was weird and didn't work for me at all. 

There was not a lot of conflict regarding the romance, the focus was more of families, personal goals in life and that was OK. There was a third-act break up which could have been handled better but I just went it. 

The cooking show was fun, presented in its complexity, lot of diverse participants, we get to see some of the behind-the-scene actions that is not very glamorous. 

All in all, this is an interesting debut with a good balance of funny and serious, still it is far from perfect.

CW: transphobia, misgendering, social anxiety, family rejection

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Title: Strong Wine (Sword Dance #3)

Author: A. J. Demas

Date of publication: 14 Oct 2021

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Title: Subtle Blood (The Will Darling Adventures #3)

Author: KJ Charles

Genre/Themes: Historical, MM romance, Mystery

Release Date: 23 June 2021

Author's links: Website / Twitter / FB Group / Goodreads

My rating: 4 Stars

Title: Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake 

Author: Alexis Hall

Genre/Themes: queer m/f romance, reality TV baking competition

Release Date: 18 May 2021

Author's links: Website / Facebook / Twitter / Goodreads

My rating: 4 Stars

Rosaline fears falling for Harry is a guaranteed recipe for disaster. Yet as the competition—and the ovens—heat up, Rosaline starts to realize the most delicious bakes come from the heart.

I love Alexis Hall's writing and this book was one of my most anticipated releases of 2021. It was not exactly what I expected it to be but after some frustration and adjustment of expectations around the middle, I ended up enjoying it a lot.

There is a sort of love triangle, rather it's three people that are mixed up in the romantic relations in the story. It's not something I intentionally look for in my romance but I felt it was fitted the characters and made sense in their character development. Rosaline is very close to my heart, I see a lot of me in her - somewhat neurotic, anxious, lacking confidence, questioning her parenting (incidentally I also have an 8yo daughter) and professional/life choices.

The story has strong women's fiction vibes, since it focuses mainly on Rosaline and her efforts to find the right direction in her life. Romantic relationships are a big part of it but we also see her professional development, the messed up relations with her family.

The nods to GBBO were fun to read. Here is where I admit that I haven't watched the full show, mostly know it from gifs and that one-time Bulgarian edition. Still, I loved seeing reality TV for what it is - fun and entertainment but also meticulously scripted and edited.

I love how real and fully developed all characters in Alexis Hall's stories read to me, and not just the MCs, but the secondary characters as well. They are all, even the evil ones, different, unique, each has a voice and presence of their own.

I hated Alain and Rosaline's parents right from the start. Alain's easy confidence, seeming perfection appeared attractive initially but it also put me on edge. I don't trust who never doubt themselves, who are always put together and in control. It makes me instantly suspicious that this a facade for something much less pretty.

That said, I understand Rosaline's attraction to him, he is everything she strives to be in her life (at least what her parents had taught her to want from life). Gradually though, we see her willfully ignoring the red flags about Alain that kept popping up. The whole setting on the set of a reality show and the extreme stress it put on her daily life led her to making some rushed decisions,

Harry, is Alain's opposite in every possible way, and while initially Rosaline only noticed him for his looks, gradually she got to know the real him and he is the absolute best. He is kind and understanding, genuinely cares about her and is always there when she needs him. At the same time he is also shy and anxious, a typical mate in many respects but also open and willing to learn to do better.

There is an attempted sexual assault and it's not graphic but the whole scene was very vivid, Rosaline's fear was palpable through the pages. The manipulation and gaslighting that went with it were rage inducing but also so, so familiar. It's a brilliant scene, though a tough one to read.

I really wanted Rosaline to to spend more time with Harry instead of Alain though ever ytime she was with Harry the connection between them was real and believable and the reverse was true of her interactions with Alain - you can see how hard she worked to convince herself this was what she wanted and it was good and right and making her happy while it was becoming clearer and clearer that this was not the case.

I like that this is not a love-at-first-sight romance. It takes Rosaline some time to see Harry, to realise there is potential for something between them, to allow herself to imagine a different future for herself.

I love how the story focuses on the the small things that make the big picture, how we change and grow, how it's ok to not know what you want, to not feel confident and assured all the time, to make mistakes and change one's mind. No one is perfect, no one has all the answers. Life is actually all about trial and error, finding and keeping the things and people that make you happy and fulfilled.

In short, this story is often hilarious while being serious at the same time, it creates a great sense of place, the storytelling is masterful and engaging as always. 

CW: teen pregnancy (in the past), discussion of abortion, casual queerphobia, attempted sexual attack, manipulation and gaslighting, neglectful and manipulative parents

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Title: Sword Dance (Sword Dance #1)

Author: A. J. Demas

Date of publication: 31 July 2019

Genre: Alt-history Romance, queer romance

Author's links:

My rating: 4 stars

This is the second book I read by this author and it is set in a vaguely similar world - alternate historical world reminiscent of Ancient Greece and Rome. I liked the world building before and I liked it here. It's a rich and vividly depicted world.

I liked suspense/murder mystery at a house party plot and was invested in it despite finding it all going a bit silly towards the end, still it''s very enjoyable and good enough background for the romance plot.

I found both MCs very interesting and likable. Damiskos and Varazda are opposites in many ways but both are decent human beings, who care about others and are open to exploring the attraction between them.

Damiskos is an ex-soldier, uncertain about his future, disabled. He struggles to find his direction in life but at the same time is comfortable in his desires and sexuality. Varazda is a non-binary sword dancer, an eunuch, a freed slave. Acting was part of his job (dancer and a spy) but women's style is also part of who he was - long hair and kohl and dresses and accesories. I found him to be a captivating character, both strong and loyal but also insecure, lacking experience in consensual sex, never before having  had a lover/partner on his own free choosing.

Their relationship started under extreme circumstance and was to some extend adrenaline driven, though their moments of tender heart-to-hearts were my favourite. The awkwardly shared fears and doubts and dreams under the cover of the night melted my heart. 

There is no HEA at the end of this book, just the promise to explore things between Dami and Varazda further.

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I was happy that I could read this book right after I finished the first one so I could pick up Dami and Varazda's story right where they left off.

I loved the romance here even more than in book 1 but also found the suspense, especially the whole plotline with Varazda's friend Ariston even more ridiculous than in book 1. This did nothing to detract of my joy of the rest of the story though.

Seeing Dami and Varazda becoming a couple, navigating V's family and friends, deepening their intimacy (which had its ups and downs) was wonderful.

My favourite element in the romance is how much of it is basically caring about each other, being mindful of the other person's issues (Dami's disability impairs his movement and V is also considerate of that without making a big deal about it; V's trauma impacts his ability to be intimate of Dami and Dami did his best to make their intimate experiences as comfortable, as satisfying as possible for V without making him pressured or inadequate in any way).

I absolutely loved seeing them navigate V's family and domestic routines. Dami is great with V's found family, no questions, no doubts, complete understanding of V's obligations and care for his loved ones. I liked how they navigate their intimacy, made accommodations for the traumas and disabilities of the other without making it a big deal. There was awkwardness and misunderstandings, but also a lot of care for each other, subtle gestures of support, love, trust which I loved seeing on page.

This book delves deeper into Varazda being non-binary/genderfluid. I enjoyed seeing him embrace himself (and his friends' absolute acceptance of who he is) but since I am a cis person myself I don't feel qualified to judge how well the non-binary representation was done.

The story ends abruptly but with a tentative HFN and the promise of a HEA. I am excited to read the next book in the series and see how Damiskos and Varazda and their loved ones will settle together as one big family.

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Review 

Something, Alexis Hall does really, really well in my opinion is the creation of characters who feel real, human, with flaws and strengths. And this was very much the case here. It's not just Ardy and Caspian but almost every minor character was interesting and I got engaged in their stories. 

I found Ardy so easy to relate to - we see him navigating University, graduation, first serious job, making new friendships and keeping close the old ones, first attempt at a serious relationship. And the pressure there was not because Caspian was a billionaire, it was because of who Caspian is- a trauma survivour riddled with guilt and shame, refusing to accept his past, desperately trying to be someone different than who he is. 

It's a very emotional story both for Ardy and Caspian. Lots of mistakes get made and it's one of the things I particularly liked int he story. The way none of the characters are perfect and they don't always know the right thing to do/say but Ardy is very keen to listen and to learn, Caspian is more reluctant but still ready to make sincere apologies and amends for his mistakes. Even Nathaniel whom I got hate at some point despite understanding the terrible position he found himself to be, so even he is not malicious and only had the best intentions and is ready to admit he has been wrong/misguided in his approach to everything. 

I want to say a few words how trauma is handled in this series. It's not there for shock value or for tragedy p0rn, it's presented a complex issue that needs professional handling, one that affects the deepest corners of one's soul. There is no easy way to deal with it and no magic peen can cure it.

On that note, I am very happy to say that despite the heavy emoptional content of the books none of it due to queerphobia. The issues the characters deal with have nothing to do with them being gay. And the books are so effortlessly queer, it's a joy to read. No token marginalisation, no fetishising, lots of queer characters interacting in multitude of ways - as friends, lovers, in professional capacity. 

I also want to mention how much I loved Ardy's family and how important I found the episode with his biological father. It was disturbing but also very much needed to show a different aspect of Ardy's personality. We get a first-hand look at how powerful manipulation can be, how dangerous people like Ardy's father can be and how Ardy is noting like that.

Caspian and Ardy spent most of book 3 apart, they are both involved with other people, they cheat on them. It was a wild ride, I cried and laughed and wanted to hug them and make it all better for everyone. But I also see how they needed that time apart, how it was important for them to work through their issues on their own before trying to be together. Because we know they can be good together, we saw that already in the previous book.

All in all, I love how Alexis Hall takes apart the conventions of the romance genre and re-arranges them to come up with an unforgettable romance. It's nothing like I have read before, yet it's very much a tropey, swoon-worthy romance.

Just a couple of words on the supporting characters, Ellery, Bellerose, Nik, Nathaniel, George - they are all colourful and unique and give this richness and depth to the world of the books. The romance between Caspian and Ardy doesn't happen in isolation, like real people they are busy doing other things while falling in love.

One of the most loving episodes in the series for me involves Ardy taking care of Bellerose. It encapsulates everything good in this world (together with so much of the bad in it). It's about love and care in its purest form.

The trilogy ends with the sweetest epilogue, full of tenderness and promise. It's the beginning of a long process for Ardy and Caspian of learning how to be together and be happy. And it's why I read romance, for this ultimate moment of hope - love is possible, happiness is possible, the darkness can be defeated.

CW: Assault, sexual abuse (in the past). attempted rape, death of a parent (in the past), stalking and manipulation, drug use, car accident (secondary character), cheating, panic attacks, unprocessed trauma 

My guest in this week's Friday Favourites post is Kris Ripper, author of queer romances. Zir latest book, Hold Fast, was just released this Tuesday and I can't wait to read it. Check out the favourite things Kris has shared in zir interview and read on for an excerpt of Hold Fast at the end of this post. 

Meet Chris

I will be terrible at this, fair warning. I’m impossible with favorites.

1. Favourite place

I once lived in the attic of a semi-detached house in Tralee, County Kerry (that’s in Ireland, for anyone for whom “County Kerry” doesn’t conjure mental images of rolling green hills). I had this window in the roof which hinged in the middle so it could be open in all weather—you know, ish—and I’m short, so I could stand there with my head clearing the edge and look out at the street below, and the fields that led eventually to the town green. I’ll never stand there again, but I’d be hard-pressed to think of a more favored place.

2. Favourite food and drink

Tacos and ginger beer, though technically I love water more than any other drink. It just serves as a boring answer to the question. And I do adore ginger beer.

3. Favourite music/genre/artist/song

Good god. I have no idea. How do people answer these questions? When I was writing Queers of La Vista I was completely obsessed with the song “Rather Be” by Clean Bandit featuring Jess Glynne. Because the story of the song doesn’t resolve, it’s all just the potential of a relationship, the possibility of something magnificent between two people if they dare try. I get off on possibilities. And daring.

4. Favourite movie/TV series

I love television. West Wing is my comfort food. I’ve seriously watched the available series of Broadchurch like three times. Brooklyn Nine-Nine is possibly the best show ever made. And back when Drag Race was on Hulu, that was the thing I turned to on the most poisonous of days; RuPaul always brightens my world.

5. Favourite hobby besides writing, if you consider writing a hobby

Oh, writing’s never been a hobby. I don’t hobby well. I just finished a knitting project for the first time. Bear in mind, I have no memory of learning how to knit; my mom owned a yarn shop when I was young. I’ve always known how to knit. I just never finished anything I tried to make—until last week. I’m very proud.

6. Favourite books (feel free to list as many as you want; all-time favourites or newly released ones; grouped by sub/genre or other criteria)

Oh my god, no. Just no. This is not a reasonable question. For years as a kid my two favorites were Stephen King’s It (which I read annually at the end of the school year) and Colleen McCullough’s The Thorn Birds (which I read as some people read holy books, diving in to bits here and there to find the answers to my world). I could crawl inside James Baldwin’s prose and live there indefinitely. Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan saga has never failed to consume and delight me. And if I had to take a single book to a desert island, it would be Alexis Hall’s Prosperity.

7. Please introduce your latest/upcoming release (what inspired you to write, what can the readers expect from it, etc.)

My latest release came out! It’s called Hold Fast, and it’s the story of a guy called Zack, who has everything in his life organized down to the color-coded task list…until he falls in love with Isaiah, who’s the kind of dude who dances in the rain just for fun. I love watching rigidly principled people struggle with falling in love and eventually surrender to it—falling in love being impossible to control, no matter how many lists you have or plans you’ve made. Also, I adored writing a book that takes place largely in a climbing gym staffed by people who consider each other family. Chosen family is one of the themes that runs through all my work, and it was a lot of fun getting to know all the folks in Hold Fast. Hopefully it’ll be fun for readers, too!

Thanks so much for giving me the opportunity to stop by!

Blurb

Author bio and links

Kris Ripper lives in the great state of California and zir pronouns are ze/zir. Kris shares a converted garage with a kid, can do two pull-ups in a row, and can write backwards. (No, really.) Ze has been writing fiction since ze learned how to write, and boring zir stuffed animals with stories long before that.
Zack nodded. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

“Sweet.” Isaiah stepped closer. “So should we go figure out what we’re offering each other?”

Zack stepped back. “Yes. In my office.”

“I’ll follow you.”

Which wasn’t, inherently, a flirtatious thing to say. So why did Zack feel like Isaiah meant I’ll be watching your ass? And god, now he was hyper-conscious of how he was walking.

Everything was calmer and more logical in his office. Like always. Even with Isaiah sitting across the desk, watching him.

Probably not watching him. It just felt like it because every time he glanced up, Isaiah was looking right at him, always with his eyebrows just a little high, like he was waiting for Zack to say something.

He had to focus. On something that wasn’t Isaiah.

He started a new section in his WoJo and began free form note taking, with sketched exclamation point icons for everything he knew needed to be in the contract, and boxes for all the information he wanted unofficially recorded.

“I’ve never seen anyone write that way. And your notebook’s a trip.”

“It’s a world journal. By which I mean it’s just a regular notebook with specific planning pages, as well as a flexible, open-ended system for additional sections as needed.”

“And color coding,” Isaiah added.

Zack froze in the process of picking up his red pen (for something he needed to double check and come back to). He glanced up, braced for derision. “It helps me keep things organized.”

“I’m not making fun. It’s kind of magnificent. And it looks cool, too.”

It looks cool? Zack pressed the pages flat and continued writing. “I always loved planners and calendars, but I never wanted to be locked in to just having the space for appointments or classes when I really needed to be able to reference so much more stuff. World journals were started by this woman who basically wanted to have a place for everything in one notebook, so she invented a system to make that work.”

“I’ve never been able to keep a calendar updated. I used to buy one every year, and by February it’d be taking up space, but I’d never use it.”

“I’m a serial monogamist when it comes to planners.” Zack smirked down at his paper.

“Many are the planners you have loved and lost?”

“That’s about it, yeah.” He scanned over the exclamation point icons. “I think I have everything. Give me your email address and I’ll send you a draft in an hour.”

Isaiah shook his head. “You work a late shift. Isn’t Crux closing soon?”

“Oh. We close at ten on Fridays.” Not that it mattered. He was off tomorrow and he really needed to study, but he’d stay until everything was done.

“I’ll keep an eye out for your email, then.”

This time Zack was the one raising his eyebrows. “I thought being self-employed meant you were allowed to stop working at some point.”

“Common misconception. Being self-employed means you never stop working, but if you’re doing it right, then you have a really good boss.”

And oh, god, Isaiah had the best smile Zack had seen in months. Or maybe this just happened to be the first time in months he’d paid attention to a smile.

He cleared his throat. He always cleared his throat too much when he was nervous. “Look, I would completely understand if you decided not to do this. Even after we’ve talked about it and agreed. I know you’re worth a lot more than a gym membership, Isaiah. There would be no hard feelings if you decided to bag out.”

“That’s what you think. You’ve clearly never pissed off Milo.”

“No way. And I’m sure he’d understand, too. I just don’t want you to feel obligated. Or to think I’m…unaware. That you’re doing us a huge favor.”

“Hey, I’m having a good time. And I can’t resist a new project. I’ve been feeling a little bored lately anyway.”

“Is this where you tell me that I’m really doing you a favor?”

“Hell no. The lighting’s going to be a clusterfuck, let me tell you. But I’m betting it’ll be worth it, one way or the other.”

That was an intriguing phrase. How many ways were there to make helping Crux worth it to Isaiah? And did any of them involve kissing?

Sheesh. Zack invented something really important he had to suddenly write down, hoping Isaiah couldn’t tell he was blushing. “I hope you don’t regret this, anyway.”

“Oh, I don’t believe in regret.”

“No?” He looked up. “So then you never fail at anything?”

“Ha. I fail all the time. I’m fantastic at failing. Show me an entrepreneur who doesn’t fail, and I’ll show you someone who’s not working hard enough.” Isaiah shrugged, shoulders rolling and settling back into place again, making Zack want to know what they’d feel like under his palms.

Randomly fantasizing about giving a guy he just met a neck rub was a real good sign he needed to get laid.

“Failure’s a way better teacher than success. I figure that’s why I’m so good when I’m good. And so spectacularly bad when I fuck things up.” Isaiah stood. “Great to meet you, Zack. I’ll be looking forward to your email.”

Zack stood. They shook hands. Again. For the third time, if you counted the one in the middle, which was less of a shake and more of a long hold. “Good to meet you, too. Let me walk you out.”

“Nah, I can find my way.”

“I insist.”

He was almost certain Isaiah whispered, “How gentlemanly” behind him.

My guest today is the author of queer stories Xan West. Read on if you are curious to get to know Xan better and to learn more about their short story Tenderness included in the Queerly Loving Anthology vol. 2 which was just released. Xan also shared a short excerpt from the story which you can read the end of this post. 

PS: Don't miss Xan's recommendations for favourite contemporary romances with bi MCs. They have never stirred me wrong re good books. Make sure also to check their book review site - Corey's Book Corner. 

1. Favourite place: I love libraries and bookstores. One of the ways I treat myself is to include a trip to the library in with my errands. My favorite library these days is the central branch of the Berkeley Public library.

2. Favourite food and drink: These days I’m all about licorice tea as far as hot beverages go. For cold, I am favoring Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi. Foodwise, I have been over the moon recently for full sour garlicky pickles, everything bagel with lox and cream cheese, and smoked almonds.

3. Favourite music/genre/artist/song: I love showtunes with all my heart, and when I sing, that’s usually what I’m singing. I have a soft spot in my heart for soul, particularly Otis Redding, and for jazz standards (I love Ella Fitzgerald). I also have a deep love for particular artists and bands that cross musical influences and genres, like Leonard Cohen, Candye Kane, Nina Simone, and The Shondes.

4. Favourite movie/TV series: Picking a favorite movie is impossible. Top 12 movie musicals:

·         Victor/Victoria

·         Fiddler on the Roof

·         Guys and Dolls

·         Funny Girl

·         My Fair Lady

·         Singin in the Rain

·         Dreamgirls

·         Hello Dolly

·         Cabaret

·         A Chorus Line

·         Yentl

·         Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

5. Favourite hobby besides writing, if you consider writing a hobby: I don’t think of writing as a hobby, more like a vocation. Reading is close to that as well, but is a bit more like a hobby. I like puzzles, that would be more like a true hobby. And I like playing solitaire.

6. Favourite books (feel free to list as many as you want; all-time favourites or newly released ones; grouped by sub/genre or other criteria)

Okay this is simply not a fair question. Top 15 fave contemporary romances with bi MCs (as the MC of the story I discuss in the next question is bi).

·         The King of Bourbon Street by Thea de Salle

·         Knit One, Girl Two by Shira Glassman

·         So Sweet by Rebekah Weatherspoon

·         Fast Connection by Megan Erickson and Santino Hassell

·         Wrong to Need You by Alisha Rai

·         A Boy Called Cin by Cecil Wilde

·         Tactical Submission by Ada Maria Soto

·         The Boss by Abigail Barnette

·         The Submission Gift by Solace Ames

·         Team Phison by Chace Verity

·         Sated by Rebekah Weatherspoon

·         The Love Song of Sawyer Bell by Avon Gale

·         To Seek and To Find by Tamryn Eradani

·         F*THS by GL Thomas

·         Illegal Contact by Santino Hassell

7. Please introduce your latest/upcoming release (what inspired you to write, what can the readers expect from it, etc.)

Xan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat Jewish genderqueer writer and community activist with multiple disabilities (including chronic migraines, like Judith in Tenderness). Xan adores vulnerable tops; strong, supportive bottoms; red meat; long winding conversations about power, privilege, and community; showtunes; and cool, dark, quiet rooms with comfortable beds. Their recent collection of queer kink erotica, Show Yourself To Me, is out from Go Deeper Press, and has been described by M. Christian as “a book that changes what erotica can and should be.” Xan is currently working on Meet Cutes, a lighthearted polyamorous butch/femme/genderqueer butch kinky romance novella centering autistic and disabled Jewish queers, a couple of whom have cameos in Tenderness. Xan also has a queer kinky polyamorous romance novel in the works, Shocking Violet, which centers disabled characters, many of whom are trans and non-binary, and includes a cameo from Shiloh, who appears in Tenderness.

Website / Twitter / Goodreads

Excerpt from Tenderness

Shiloh had been giving Judith massages to help her migraines since they’d met. In fact, it was how they met.

Gideon had brought Shiloh to where Judith was hiding out in his bedroom and said, “This is Shiloh and ze is really good at massages. How about you let zir try to ease your migraine, so maybe you can rejoin the seder?” Before that moment, Judith had never tried massage for her migraines. Maybe Shiloh’s big hands knew what to do, because it actually had helped. The migraine hadn’t disappeared, but had faded enough that she was able to return to the table.

Touch was intense today. Judith’s body had retreated into a shell and Shiloh was making the shell walls thinner with the massage. It was almost too much to have zir hands on her, but when ze started to work the tightness in her neck, it hurt in a way that was easier to manage than the rest of zir touch. Like her body welcomed the sharpness. It made her more clear-headed, this pain. She was trembling, though. That was a new thing to manage. Shiloh ran zir palms down her hair and everything felt so huge all of a sudden, she had to wrap her arms around herself she was shaking so much. Then the tears started.

Shiloh led her to the couch, and wrapped her in zir arms. Judith was mid-sized, rarely the smaller one, but Shiloh was much broader, fatter, and taller than her, and she felt wonderfully engulfed. She could not stop shaking, or sobbing, safe in the circle of zir arms. She rode the wave of it all the way through, her head on Shiloh’s chest as ze murmured softly. Afterwards, Judith was exhausted. She scooted down to lie on the couch with her head against Shiloh’s furry thigh, zir hand stroking her back. Ze began to sing, softly, and she let herself drift to the sound of “Try a Little Tenderness” in Shiloh’s raspy sweet voice.